


The Awaiting Past

by KumoriYami



Series: The Egregious Enterprises of Eria Lavellan [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Additional tags likely to be added, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Established Relationship, F/M, In the Fade, Internal Conflict, POV Multiple, Time Travel, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:16:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KumoriYami/pseuds/KumoriYami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a prompt on the DA Kmeme for Time Travel to Arlathan:<br/>Fem Mage Lavellan who drank from the Well is dying in Solas's arms sometime during Trespasser. </p>
<p>In order to save her, he casts a spell that somehow sends them both back to ancient Arlathan, only he's his younger self and in the middle of fighting a war with the Evanuris</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...and yes I changed the title.<br/>Hoping to update 1 or 2 times a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> with some ideas pulled from the prompt at http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/15543.html?thread=58579127#t58579127  
> still being posted here:http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/15543.html?thread=58588343#t58588343  
> \---  
> this is actually my first time travel fic so feedback would be really nice.... finally thought of a title though im not sure if it fits. maybe i'll change it (again?) later...

“Solas…I… you…” She collapses on the ground after he releases the magic in her arm. Her head shakes as she closes her eyes.  
  
“Vhenan!”  
  
He cradles her gently in his arms. Her head rests over where his heart beats. She smiles. “I wish I could tell you again… how much I love…”  
  
_“Vhenan, I...No!”_ A tear drops from her eyes as her voice dies and her arm goes limp. Her heart still beats though he knows that is slowing to a stop.  
  
Time.  
  
She is out of time.  
  
His mark killed her.

 _He_ killed her.  
   
_Time._  
  
The thought burns through his head as he lays her body down before him. He would not have a lot of it. Her spirit would remain in the Fade, but only for a short period of time.  
  
He concentrates on her.  
  
On his love.  
  
On her love.  
  
On a time before all this.  
  
A better time.  
  
He finds himself praying for a moment as he closes his eyes.  
  
He casts a spell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll probably have the next sections posted up before the end of the day.


	2. Unknown Circumstances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..im probably going to give up naming chapters.

“OW! My arm is killing me!” Eria Lavellan stops the moment she realizes what she’s said as she pulls herself off the ground so she’s no longer lying on it. Her arm. It was… _there._ The entirety of it was there. And not… gone. “What in Mythal’s name…?” She mutters softly as she examines her left arm as if not sure she’s seeing an illusion, then frowns. _The Anchor._ The Dread Wolf's…no, _Solas’s_ mark. She still bore it.  
  
While she liked the prospect of having both her hands, she was very baffled to see it. It just didn’t make any sense. She was… _she had_ … been dying. _Did I die?_ It would explain why she didn’t recognize anything around her. A verdant forest full of sounds she had never heard. Plants she didn't recognize. The sound of dragons overhead. Within it all, she felt an unusual sense of…loss. Perhaps she was simply in the Fade, seeing something that once occurred in the ancient elven ruin she had travelled to after leaving the Darvaarad… and given that her last recollection was of the soft touch of his lips on hers suffused with sadness, it wouldn’t surprise her. The nature of the Fade changed based on the dreamers dreaming, and all she had wanted to see was him once last time...  
  
That idea however doesn’t last long when she pulls out her wood carving knife. It was one of the few things she still had from her clan that hadn’t been lost or destroyed. The blade was mostly dull but it suits her purpose as she gently presses it against the skin of the top of her left index finger. Blood. She never recalled bleeding in the Fade. It was unnatural given that blood magic made it more difficult to dream.  
  
“This is real…?” Her words are mixed with disbelief, and she sounds like she doesn’t actually believe what she’s saying. Her arm was definitely real as well. She doesn’t exactly know what to think as she stands in the woods, basking in the sun. She could feel the Fade so strongly despite being very much awake and could even see spirits hidden amongst the trees. She couldn't feel the Veil. Was the Veil...?  
  
_“Move, girl!”_ The command verberates through her head as she finds herself no longer in shock. By the time Lavellan had realized what the Vir'abelasan had demanded of her, she had already taken flight.  
  
_What am I running from?_ Although she asks, she continues her blind sprint in the direction she was heading in like her life depended on it. She could feel the presence of someone powerful nearby, and their sheer presence terrified her. If Corypheus and Solas rivalled gods, than whoever this was, went beyond them. Part of her wonders if it is because of the very real presence of the Fade, or it was just that magic is so much more powerful here… wherever she was.  
  
_“A hunter who cares not of what quarry she finds.”_ She swallows at that and for a moment, decides to risk looking back. While her stamina was decent, she couldn’t run forever.  
  
A golden arrow was heading straight at her…. And it was charged with enough magic to make the spirits nearby afraid.  
  
Unconsciously, she frowns as she remembers a story that she asked Briala to tell her. It had been on a visit to Orlais, and it was the only request that Eria ever made of the ambassador turned noble. She had asked for any elven tales she knew… and though she didn’t know if she could take them as stories of what had happened before, there was _one_ that mentioned an arrow of such.  
  
_But that’s impossible…_  
  
Somehow managing to keep the rising panic down within her, even as she could feel the magic following her, now in whichever direction she went, Eria maintains some illusion of calm since she needed to think.  
If she stopped to use her magic, she would undoubtedly be killed given the arrow's speed and the time it would take for her to create a barrier. She didn’t even know if it would hold against such a weapon if she managed…  
  
Instead, she stops in her steps, takes a very deep breath, and concentrates on accessing the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eria Lavellan is named for my Lavellan in a different story on the kmeme. she's originally an elfy elf, but time changed her. a lot. so did the elf who broke her heart.


	3. Turmoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything marked with the 'greater than' or 'less than' symbols will be spoken elvish, and anything that’s in the actual elven form will be taken straight from the wikia. I'm no good with language.
> 
> for some reason I can't have the typed version of it in the notes section. won't show in preview.

He wakes with a sickness, both in his stomach and heart.

He was not by her side.  
  
If she was no longer in the world, he would have put her body to rest with the highest dedications of honour like in the days of old. He would watch over her across the ages, never allowing anyone close unless it was to pay their respects to her… and he would keep her safe for eternity.  
  
…Yet something more than hope told him that would not be necessary. He could feel her, as did the other spirits in the Fade. Alive. Distance did not matter when he concentrated on his own magic, though he could not pinpoint her location... She was _alive._  
  
Disoriented as he is, he does recognize that he was inside one of his sanctuaries… and that he was relatively safe for the moment, as opposed to the one missing from his side. Regardless of where he was, it was infinitely more dangerous for her who was undoubtedly more lost. _Vhenan…_  
  
His closes his eyes for a moment as if to deny the notion that letting her die would have been the correct course of action, despite knowing that simply touching time was dangerous. In his own way he needed her, and he was not willing to let her go without a fight if he could help it. He would rather watch her from afar to see her succumb to the passage of time rather than fall because of his mistakes and magic.  
  
_The Evanuris…_ Bitterly, he frowns as he remembers. _“I’m a mage. I’ve been to the Fade before. I would have known.”_ And he does know, though he does not know when he was. It was not his intention to go back so far, though he supposes desperation played a large role in just how _far_ ’a better time’ was.  
  
Using magic involving time was similar to throwing oneself into unknown waters. One could drown, be swept by the current, cause countless ripples, flounder in it, be pulled out of it, get lost in it… but one could also go along with the flow if they had a decent head on their shoulders. She’d be able to handle herself if she remained on her own… he hoped at the least, she wouldn’t be pulled into his war with the Evanuris, but fate had never been kind to her, and always decreed otherwise. Her sense of justice reminded him of Mythal’s although she was considerably more merciful given that her experiences were fewer. Similarly though, she would fight if she deemed it necessary, regardless of the circumstances, and heedless of the danger.  
  
If they captured her… they could try to… they _would_ do their best to break her spirit.  
  
Eria had managed to tame a wolf… and in turn, her heart had been captured by his. His mark on her would grant her some decree of safety from being killed given he knew the Evanuris would crave power over the Fade. It would be both a blessing and a curse to her. They did not have mastery that he had, and she could be used as a weapon. While the Vir'abelasan would grant her protection from being bound to one of the other Evanuris, there was a limit of what it could do. She would once again become a piece on a game board that she had no say in again…  
  
“ <Fen’harel? Are you…are you all right?”>  
  
Solas breaks away from his reverie as he hears a language that he so rarely heard anymore from a voice calling. Old, almost forgotten, yet familiar all the same. She was one of the freed elvhen. Almost out of reflex, he knits his brows, but he was no longer the amateur actor he once was and maintains his usual mask of calm. She had died an honourable death. One of sacrifice, and one without regret. She died in a war that he regretted the necessity of having. Another name to remember.  
  
<“My apoligies, Lan’iah. I was deep in thought.”> He offers her a small smile, devoid of the pain stirred from the memories associated with her. They were in one of the many libraries that he used find solace in. A place of knowledge where he could be free to pursue wisdom. Still, he needed answers though and it would be easier to ask someone he had trusted. <“Could I possibly trouble you for your opinion on the current events?”>


	4. A Dangerous Encounter

“Fenehedis… please… _please work!_ ” Eria swallows hard as she opens up a small rift in the Fade. She hadn’t tried this in years. While she had grown adept at closing rifts, opening them was something she had particularly avoided if she could.  
  
She still had nightmares on occasion about throwing herself, Solas, Cassandra, Varric, Hawke and Stroud into the Fade. Granted, it had been to save them from dying at that time, and she had no alternative then, but leaving Stroud still left a bad taste in her mouth, as did actually walking in the Fade. Her experience in the Raw Fade was something she did not particularly liked recalling either.  
  
She didn’t even know if it would work given that she was half unsure about her arm actually being hers, and if the Anchor would still work.  
“Thank Mythal,” she mutters quietly as she sees the familiar greenish tinted glow of the Fade materialize in the air. Almost an instant later, she sees the arrow get consumed by the rift, and she immediately closes it. _…And thank the Dread Wolf,_ she thinks bitterly. Even now she had to rely on his magic to keep her safe.  
  
Her mind is that of a hunter now as she gazes in the direction the arrow came from. She couldn’t see anyone in her immediate surroundings, much less the person who had fired at her.  
  
Eria frowned on reflex as she began a slow hunter’s tread. She had improved in her ability to move silently over the time of the Inquisition, careful to note her surroundings.  
  
_The Inquisition…_ She hoped everyone was doing okay. Or at least they were doing better than she was… Given the state of the Exalted Council and the Qunari, she was admittedly feeling better not being there since she despised Orlesian politics and was prepared to disband the Inquisition since she never wanted to be placed on a stage in the first place, and she had no desire to continue to dance around like a puppet without will.  
  
Eria hated having no choice. It went against her personal and self-beliefs, and while she was still the First of her clan and had become accustomed to being turned to for assistance, she had always had a choice in her actions…and a friend she could rely on, but that was before being dragged into the light.  
  
Her steps hesitate for a moment as she feels the presence disappear. It didn’t make sense how something so powerful could just vanish…  
  
In her weakness, Eria almost misses the woman drop down from the sky. ‘Drop’ didn’t seem to be the right word to use given the grace in her movements. A blade swings up, not even a second later from her landing, and she barely has time to react. The attack cuts her across the left side of her face causing blood to get into her eye.  
  
Out of reflex, she closes her left eye, and while she can’t see her assailant completely as she had been blinded, one glimpse at her tells her that this woman was undoubtedly a huntress.  
  
Sweat drips from her brow as she sees the woman raise a spear with her right hand and aims it right at her neck.  
  
She makes no effort to move as she’s thrown to the ground and pinned there. The spearhead is dug into the ground barely a millimetre away from her neck. She could feel the magic again, and needless to say, Eria’s magic would pale in comparison.

  
_< “What manner of creature are you?”>_ Her eyes widen as she hears perfect Elvish. Language that had but been forgotten by all except the bits and pieces they remembered. The Vir'abelasan supplemented what she did not know and translated nearly everything for her, but Eria knew she was far away from mastering the language…and she didn’t need to let anyone know that.

 

Instead, she violently shakes her head and mouths the words for ‘I don’t know elvish.’ Her ears burn with shame. Better for her to be thought of as an ignorant fool who knew nothing. It would allow her to obtain information easier if need be, and would hopefully give the impression that it would be easier to take advantage of her.

“Dirthara-ma.” She shakes her head. “You do not speak the Language of the People? Curious. Are you perchance from near the dwarven lands? Do you know of this… ‘common’ that they use?”

“I do, my lady…. And I apologize. I was never given the opportunity to learn.” She hopes she doesn’t find it insulting to use such a… human way of address, but Eria figures that it’d be better than saying nothing at all. “You… know of it?” There’s an obvious relief in her tone, though part of it was feigned.

“Someone I knew insisted that I at least pick up a few things. Better to know what your prey says before hunting them down if they hide anything. Leave it to Dirthamen to tell Andruil about what she has to learn in deciphering secrets.” Her eyes sharpen though not at her, and Eria flinches involuntarily. 

Andruil. _Andruil!_ Her inner self was freaking out. _A lot._ And not because she was once a devout believer in the Creators, but because of what she learned of Andruil. Andruil wanted the Dread Wolf to service her in bed for a year… so she’d probably kill her if she knew that she had been… _bedded_ … by the one who both spurned her and refused her. Probably.

The very notion of it gave her a very small amount of pride, though it did sting more. She hadn’t known of whom he was when… She shook her head. False pretences indeed.

In all honesty though, she had gone from being ‘merely worried for her life’ to being ‘terrified beyond measure’ upon learning that she was in Andruil’s presence. One of the Evanuris…. One of the false-gods… a powerful mage queen, in her case….and a huntress beyond measure. A thought drifts in as she wonders if it was true that the… supposed, goddess had a seemingly endless thirst for the sport of the hunt…

“You did not answer my question. What manner of creature are you?” The woman, Andruil, although her voice sounded more melodious than birds, as she spoke softly, it sung of a promise for unimaginable horror.

“I….” If she could stare at the one who had dominion over her heart yet still manage to look okay despite knowing she was dying on the inside, as if to prevent him from seeing her life eroding away and if only to lessen the burden of truth from his shoulders… _If_ she could manage lying in the face of her god of deception- _and to his face,_ she could manage _this_ \- talking to one of the Evanuris and one of her former gods with half-truths. “...I am called Revas.” _Ar lasa mala revas_ echoes in her mind for some reason. “I do not remember of what happened to me, or how I came to this place, but only that I am bound to the one called Mythal.”

“You claim you are a creature of the All-Mother?” Eria isn’t sure if she’s said something wrong given the almost distant look on Andruil’s face that lasts for half a moment, but it at least gets her to pull the spear away from her neck though her other hand remained on her dagger.

“And the mark you bear on your hand? I know it connects you to the Beyond.” Andriul’s eyes…They now gave her a look that one would see on a hunter deciding whether or not they should kill their prey. Her expression was as hard as a hawk’s. She would not forgive any lies. “I would have you tell me how you became marked with Fen’Harel’s magic.”

_’If you want to live,’_ went unspoken.

One lie.

One _believable_ lie.

Eria whispered a silent prayer to the Dread Wolf. _Solas…._

_Give me strength._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations -(taken straight form the wikia):  
> Ar lasa mala revas: "You are (now) free."/"I give you your freedom."  
> Dirthara-ma: "May you learn"


	5. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas is a bit harder to imagine and write for… sometimes. im thinking that some of Solas’s followers will be partially inspired from his dialogue with Cole. I like Cole. Will try to put in Felassan in eventually. still need to read the Masked Empire.

<“My thanks, Lan’iah.”> He offers her a smile, in which she gratefully bows to before disappearing. Lan’iah was never much for spending time in the libraries though she chose to frequently appear around in them as to see if anyone needed help with anything. She had spent so much of her life being hidden away so doing anything that made her presence recognized made her feel better.

A bastard child, would be the appropriate words to describe her in human terms. She had been the daughter of a noble and a slave who had been thrown away before his comrades had found her. Now, she was a shadow of one of the most accomplished and talented huntresses he came to know of, though her confidence was still a bit lacking at times, and she had not yet reached the potential he knew she would achieve. Lan’iah would aspire to let her name be known as her mother’s name was never recognized. For the injustice they had received at every turn, she would shed no tears when she accomplished her goal as their comrades slew her father.

Her father had been… rather currently _was_ a powerful noble and Dreamer who was one of Dirthamen’s most loyal followers. He wanted a child gifted with magic that could surpass his, and for Lan’iah whose gifts were mediocre at best, she was hidden away in shame and cast out. That secret would be his undoing…

Turning his thoughts away from the elf who departed yet was alive, he sighs. Guilt was a distraction he could not afford. Not now. Not when he knew he had the possibility of changing something for the first time in ages.

Mythal was… alive.

He is both elated and alarmed at the prospect that brings.

She was alive.

He had a general enough of an idea of _when_ he was, but he knew she would not remain much longer though.

His forces were preparing for war. Lan’iah had told him that much and that several of his comrades… friends… lieutenants… they were preparing for the worst, and he knew that not many would survive to walk at his side against once more even with uthenera.

The war with the Evanuris… _his_ war with the Evanuris… he did not regret his decisions then, but now….he was unsure if he’d regret his decision to take action now, and alternatively, to not do anything.

He had a chance to stop her death… but he could not predict the effects that it would have on the future.

 _Her_ future…. _Eria Lavellan’s future._ Would his actions make it so that she would longer exist? Would it cause her clan to disappear as the countless others had done? Would she never meet him? Would it be cruel to remove that choice from her? To never let her scent to be forever marked by the Dread Wolf? It would spare her the pain in falling in love with him… She could be free in her ignorance…

His selfishness had brought her despair and torment that she revisited nearly every night for the last two years.

She might have been able to fool him with her expressions, but she could not hide in her dreams the feelings she still harboured for him. Eria had come a long way from a woman who was worried about what people thought of her, to one of the only people who managed to trick the Dread Wolf…

There was also the issue with the Veil to consider. If he didn’t create it, the false gods would be free to wreck their carnage and havoc across Elvhenan…. regardless of Mythal’s murder. They had both known that she could only hold her brethren back for so long, and his People would still tear each other apart.

_But…now…_

He had all his strength and more. Power echoed through him like a song he had all but forgotten. While he had recovered only some of what he had lost in the last two years with Mythal’s help, him being _here_ with his current connection to the Fade, he had begun recovering what he had once lost with ease.

He could right what had been wronged...

He could save his People...

He could make it so that none of what was to come would happen…

He could change _everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no more posting today!


	6. Mixed Signals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small note: Aesri is a reference from the 'the Inquisitor as an elfy elf' prompt. Eria borrows the name of her friend to hide her identity because she's a bit... paranoid.

Eria resigns herself to silence as she follows Andruil. The side of her face was still bleeding so she was walking with her hand over the wound. It at least made it easier to have excuse to not face the huntress directly.  
  
She was scared stiff but made no move to flee. Part of her was still wrapping around the fact that she was in the time of ancient Elvhenan….or at least 99% of her was sure that she was. Andruil had shown no sign of believing what she had said, her anxiousness was steadily increasing. The false god hadn’t even shown a reaction in her explanation in receiving the Dread Wolf’s mark.  
  
_“Vengeance started a war that I was thrust into when Pride opened the sky… and from that, I was branded with magic that burned into my soul against my will from an artifact that was destroyed.”_  
  
If anything, it left most of her explanation up to the listener’s interpretation. At least the lie for her name was easier. She had been half tempted to call herself Aesri... it was a name she was familiar with given her past and there wasn't as a high a likelihood of her slipping in her acting, but she didn't want to risk any backlash on the name itself, no matter how unlikely that was of happening. Superstitions of a silly Dalish she told herself, and she would prefer the name not being cursed like another title for all of... modern history.  
  
But Revas? She hadn’t understood why Revas of all names, was the one that surfaced in her head in her most desperate of times. It was a name that invoked different emotions. Conflicting emotions. She still remembers like it was only yesterday when she was talking to Cassandra about marriage. _Marriage._ It was something she thought about more than she wanted to… and she could only ever dream of it. While she had the freedom to love anyone, she only had one she loved, only one to call her vhenan, and he had disappeared from her. She would have done anything to protect him despite knowing that it felt like an ephermal dream to be with him sometimes. Regardless, she would have gone to the ends of the earth with him, no matter bloodied her hands became. _She would have named a child borne to them Revas…_  
  
Andruil stops for a moment, and Eria obediently follows suite. She knew that she was expected to follow, regardless of what she willed. It was a good idea if she wanted to stay alive. For now anyway. They were still surrounded by trees in all directions so the displaced elf was unsure of what they were going to be doing.  
  
Her confusion is quickly dispelled when the huntress snaps her fingers, and a second later, Eria sees steps forming in the air. Her eyes widen. Magic and spirits were bending to the huntress’s will...? No, that wasn’t right. Someone else was using magic to create the translucent steps in the air from above them. Part of her inwardly doesn’t know what to think about _shaping reality._  
  
Whoever was executing this sort of magic must have been immensely powerful. She finds herself staring at the construct in the air where the caster was more than she anticipated as her gaze remained skyward.  
  
“Have you never seen an aravel before?”  
  
Eria is speechless as she somehow manages to nod as she continues following the false god. She had never seen an aravel so high in the sky and of such size… _A giant ship to sail through the heavens?_ It was easily twice as big as the ones her clan used, and upon closer inspection she could even see spirits keeping it suspended in the air. Part of her wonders if it’s simply because of how powerful the mages were given that she felt like she was going to be crushed by Andriul’s magic at times, or if it simply because of their usage of spirits.

She does her best not to look anywhere but in the huntress’ direction when she steps onto the aravel. There were a fairly decent number of people on board… and they had all been branded with vallaslin. Andruil’s vallslin. After her own vallaslin had been removed, Eria had spent a great deal of time after the battle with Corypheus tracing the origins of which ‘god’ of the pantheon they represented. Her sense of justice wouldn’t allow her ignorance if they came from _“a time when we were no better than Tevinter.”_  
  
One look at all of these elves told her that they were like her once. They had no choice. _‘Followers’_ indeed. They were all probably slaves…  
  
A chill goes up her spine as Eria is directed to sit across Andruil. She sat between two elves that reminded her of Abelas….Sentinels. The false god’s eyes were watching hers like a hawk that was ready to devour its prey with a smile as she used healing magic on the wound she had inflicted before holding out her hand. She wanted to look at the Anchor.  
  
_No, she wanted the Anchor._ Hesitatingly, she places her hand in hers, and after a few minutes of being examined, Eria knows that she had come to the same conclusion as Corypheus had in his assault on Haven… Either by fortune or misfortune, the Anchor couldn’t be removed by one of the Evanuris.

During the time Eria is so obviously being examined as not a person, but as a weapon, she does her best to focus on other things. Like how she notes that the forest she had ended up in… was floating. In the sky. Or how she could see four mages directing the aravel like a boat down a stream through the sky. Or how fearful they were in failing their task. Or at the crystalline palace that was coming into view.

 _“We hear stories of them living in trees and imagine wooden ramps and Dalish aravels. Imagine instead spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds. Imagine beings who lived forever, for whom magic was as natural as breathing. That is what was lost."_  
  
Her eyes widen as she see does her best to capture the moment with her eyes. Arlathan… or at least a part of it. Solas’s description could not do it justice, but behind its beauty, she questioned its supposed splendour. There were a number of crystalline structures in the distance, all floating above clouds. As part of her struggles to finds the words she will use to describe the marvels in the beauty of the place, she still saw what Leliana saw as Divine. Eria had never been seduced by the sights of Orlais, and she certainly wasn’t going to let that start upon seeing Arlathan, or at least she hoped she wouldn’t.  
  
While Arlathan was the pinnacle of the Elvenhan and she had never dreamed of seeing it with her own eyes, she could only imagine the blood, sweat and tears that went into the creation of such a place.

 _< ”Summon the dreamers for my arrival”>._ Era’s brow twitches ever so slightly as she hears this before turning to face her ‘host’ who had had finally let go of her hand. _< ”This girl can access to the Beyond without the usage of the eluvians. I intend to use her against Fen’Harel… and I expect haste as we cannot let him catch wind of this prey’s scent.”>_ Her words, she thinks are directed to the two sentinels beside her.  
  
Given that they were the only ones who seemed to understand elven, it was likely that they were worshippers… or at least not slaves despite their brands. Language… it would make sense if no one taught their slaves elven. They would be ignorant of their masters’ plans, regardless if they were being spoken of in front of them, not that they were expected to question.  
  
Pretending to look confused, Eria tilts her head to the side with a questioning look on her face.

“Pardon me, Revas. I was just telling them that we need accommodations for you. It must be difficult not remembering who you are, but we will care for you before returning you to Mythal.” Her smile is as sweet as it is false….and it was believable that an Orlesian would have more honesty than this member of the Evanuris. “It wouldn’t be right to one of the All-Mother’s followers to send her back without showing her Andruil’s hospitality.”  
  
“…No, it’s really all right.” _The most poisonous snakes are often the most beautiful._ Blackwall’s… rather -Thom Rainier’s words echo through her mind as Eria displays a fraudulent smile of her own. “It would be wrong to impose…”  
  
“Do you have any preferences for a room?” Her words get cut off unfortunately, though the suggestion presented gives her some room for planning.  
  
“Oh, one with a window, please milady! I could spend hours gazing at the stars and moons across Arlathan! They remind us how no beauty in all the world that could possibly match what is seen from the heavens from below, or equal those who rule above us.” Excess excitement and slight flattery before calming down and acting humble and wishful. The masks she employs will hopefully be enough to fool her audience. “If that’s okay… I used to watch stars back home… There, I could only imagine such beauty….and well, I would truly be in your debt if you could grant me the chance to see them here.”  
  
“Of course, Revas.” There’s an awkward smile now on Andruil’s face though she still manages to nod gracefully. She couldn’t really go against Eria’s statements now without coming across as unsympathetic and uncaring. “I will see to it once we disembark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the thing about the aravels is sorta a personal headcanon. I just don't see why the elves would use landships if their empire was in the sky...


	7. Self Assurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas is definitely harder to write… I mean how does one imagine getting into the head of an ancient elven god? Lol. His chapters will usually be shorter because of that…. I promise that he will get some long ones though. I have a few ideas in mind that ive started working on for his side and theyre almost long enough to make me think of slipping the chapter up to make my life easier lol. won't be a while til I get to them though. 
> 
> Only one chapter this week, same with the following. probably. I have tests both weeks…

It was late in the evening when he finally returned to the library. He had spent most of the day re-familiarizing himself with the network of eluvians. Some of the mirrors back in the… _present_ , were either broken or no longer operated as they once did, especially the ones that had suffered from the Veil’s presence or led to the Fade. 

Given that worship and ritual could easily take months at a time, it did not mean he didn’t have a sufficient amount of time before Mythal’s murder… relatively speaking. He had resolved himself to try and prevent it from happening, as he did once before, but now he had the advantage in terms of knowledge of some of the events.

Admittedly though, he had a bit of difficulty adjusting to his new situation. One of the biggest changes perhaps was that he heard more elvhen in the last few years combined… and that everyone was calling him Fen’Harel. During the time of the Inquisition, he had become… accustomed to Solas. While his own agents referred to him as both the Dread Wolf and Fen’Harel, it was rare for them to actually say or even write down the form of address due to the nature of the messages, and his thoughts had unfortunately kept on drifting back to a certain woman during a time where they should not be.

He had spent the last two years pushing his thoughts away from her, being content to observe her from her dreams… He had resolved himself to continue doing so after saving her form his magic, but Solas himself didn’t realize how affected he would be by her death…. It just didn’t make sense to him in his mind. He had more pressing matters to attend to!

The Inquisitor…. Eria never referred to him as anything but his own name… She knew the burden of a title replaced one’s name and had never called him what the Evanuris had branded him save on one occasion when she had questioned how he could control the Anchor. _An Anchor indeed_. It gave him more power over her and pulled her down…

Part of him wondered if she knew that he was here in this time period with her, or if she thought herself alone. Depending on where Eria had been displaced to, it would be impossible to know if she had realized when she was…. She had told him about her first experience through an eluvian and seeing the Crossroads with Morrigan. The witch had informed her about the existence of other worlds so there was also the possibility of her thinking it was that…

He sighed aloud as he turned his thoughts away from that idea. _Eria would know that she was in the time of Elvhenan_. She _had_ to. She had shown him Dorian’s notes on time magic so she would hopefully remember that…. Still… the reaches of Elvhenan made it too difficult to locate one single time displaced elf, even with the help of the spirits that could locate someone who burned brightly in the Fade because of his magic, or had disturbed time’s waters and carried whispers of the Vir’abellassan. While she knew about the Anchor being felt differently by spirits because of Cole, she hadn’t known about them hearing the ancient magic of the Well until meeting the Augur at Stone-bear hold. He had refrained from telling her since he had no desire to let her feel the weight of a legacy forgotten and she had been disturbed that the spirits could locate her in the Fade so easily. The Evanuris would not think to ask the spirits they sought dominion over about the nature of magic surrounding her. They believed themselves masters of creation and asking spirits which they believed possessed no will or personality was beyond them.

Still… she would be… all right. Even if she had a tendency to overreact to anything elven-related, that enthusiasm had died down… so she would be okay even if she somehow travelled to Arlathan. She would be okay even if she encountered one of the Evanuris despite her being hopelessly outmatched in terms of power and even if they found it offensive that her face didn’t bear the markings of a slave that belonged beneath their heel.

 _Eria would be okay_.

Solas resigned himself to not think of her any more with that thought while awake. He had work to do now that couldn’t afford distractions now. Not when it could jeopardize everything… furthermore, it would be far better and easier to spend his sleep trying to find her then…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of a name for the chapter... *sighs*


	8. Trepidation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long(er) chapter for Eria. Hers tend to be longerish in comparison to Solas’s chapters anyway and with more quotes from the game for some reason. He will get a longer chapter soon. That I can promise. One chapter again this week. Midterm this week and next. The week of the 18th I have an international trade finance midterm that week and I’m terrible at the subject so the update might be a bit later on in the week but there will be one! I swears! probably… ehehehe… *sighs* 
> 
> Also warning for me ranting. Right now. Because of politics. It’s a small rant so I’d appreciate if you read it….especially if you’re Canadian. And I promise this won’t happen again. Or at least for four years… if im still writing then (lol). I made Athlyn, who is an OC mentioned but not formally introduced in this chapter, a pregnant character mainly because of how angry I’ve been the past few weeks because of a certain political party and the current prime minister who seems to be perfectly fine with ignoring women’s issues and the environment…. Today’s actions will affect our generation and the one’s that come after, and there is no one more vulnerable to today’s inaction to these issues than the unborn children who will inherit our planet... so go vote! if you're eligible! please...vote "abc".
> 
> …oh and happy late thanksgiving. always be grateful for your health, even if you're feeling feverish atm like me...

Her week had been thankfully most uneventful, despite finally coming to terms with her being a long way and when from home. Andruil had mainly left her to her own devices after finding that none of her worshippers and dreamers could do anything about the Anchor, to which Eria was extremely thankful for since being around the huntress greatly disturbed her. If she ever saw her at all, it would be in one of her libraries where the mage queen would be seen tearing through tomes as if she was frantically searching for knowledge she had lost. It had been in the Arbor Wilds where she read something about how knowledge was once stolen from her…

The only thing that had really stuck out besides being thrown back in time, was that someone had been sacrificed to Andruil. Her followers and worshippers would make their sacrifices if only to appease the false god long enough so that she would not slaughter them all, and would pray that she didn’t travel into Void given that she evidently had a bit of a temper and an air of madness on occasion.

She could the fear amongst the slaves whenever Andruil was around… but she knew that people would do anything they deemed necessary if it was to survive. The methods that they used however… made her remember the Grey Wardens. She had witnessed them cutting the throat of one of their own for a sacrifice they deemed necessary. It was hardly different for the sacrifices made in Andruil’s name and it made her feel sick. At least the Wardens had good intentions.

No one thankfully, was ever mistreated whenever Eria was around, and it prompted her to spend as much time in the main courtyard where the most…. slaves would be found. She had a difficult time thinking of them as such, but it was interesting to see how people reacted to her depending on their supposed… caste.

Prior to the Inquisition she had been in the habit of observing people which was borne out of her own distrust and because she used to be paranoid about everything. It helped her pick up on little things and gave her insight on motivations and quirks, especially when around Templars, who she admittedly still had issues with. _Solas…_ He had been the reason her instincts had dulled significantly over the time of the Inquisition. While she always used to look at people with suspicions… he had convinced her how to trust. Yet another thing of hers that he had screwed up for her.

She had set up a wall around herself against the world to prevent herself from getting hurt, and in her weakness… Eria had willingly put it down to allow someone to become close. Someone who healed the hurt in her heart and let her fall in love… and caused her once again the pain of losing it in addition to the bitter sting of betrayal. Even worse, was knowing now that he had caused her best friend and clan mates to die.

Watching people was now something she actively engaged in ever since Solas had left and it would help her plan for the future escape she envisioned. It also helped her feel… more confident since she was half-worried that everyone would stab her in the back if given the opportunity or kill her. It didn’t wasn’t likely given her situation… yet.

It had been quite easy to identify who Andruil’s closest followers were since they weren’t marked by the false god’s vallaslin and were nearly always accompanied by those that were. They watched her like hawks and while none of their efforts to duplicate what she had with the Anchor had failed, she could tell that they weren’t giving up anytime soon and were still planning something. Their desire to accomplish the task was motivated by fear, but a large part of it was because of disdain for her. Eria had been equally kind and respectful to all the slaves she had interacted with, and given how caste-like the hierarchy for slavery was, it hadn’t earned her any friends from the ‘nobility,’ not that she cared anymore. Figuring out the general motivations of the slaves… was quite difficult though and she hated referring to them as such, but there were many who thought of themselves as that.

Most of them were almost… resigned to their situations, and took out their anger, sorrow and frustrations on those who were even further below them. Those without power often looked down on those below them, and the ones who held power didn’t even register them as people. They were less than equal… Eria considers it ironic that it’s one of the Evanuris who actually show her about Solas’s mindset… or his previous one at least. He also didn’t even think of her and her friends… _them,_ as people…

She was used to having been looked down upon as one of the Dalish, as an elf, and a mage. People tended to avoid interacting with her if they could before, often because they believed themselves better. It was that way of thinking that lulled people into compliancy… and thankfully not all she had seen were not.

Eria had spent most of her time exploring Andruil’s realm trying to locate any eluvians though she never had the opportunity to travel through them. While she might be terrible with maps, her geographical recognition was pretty good. Eria could easily take a large number of people right out from under their masters’ noses… and given that most people spoke Common, it’d be easier to get the word around. She also spent a lot of time with two elves she found that she could trust. 

The first was Athlyn, a rather strong and lovely woman who had been assigned to take care of her while receiving Andruil’s ‘hospitality.’ She stuck out a bit since she did not bear Andruil’s markings, but June’s. Eria had heard those of Tevinter often exchanged slaves as gifts, so she wondered if that had been the case with her, though she did not ask. What really stuck out about her was that she was quite vibrant despite being with child, and was apparently respected enough by all the ‘servants’ in the huntress’ ’employ’ despite being what they called a mediocre mage for her ability to ask spirits for their assistance.

The second being Arvis, the only arcane warrior she had ever seen and who she made it a point to obtain instruction from, who had June’s markings as well. He was a bit more reserved than Athlyn, but she knew of the lingering glances the two exchanged as often as they could. She hardly ever saw them with each other but that was likely as he was one of the few guards that also did not wield a bow. Andruil’s ilk preferred the way of the bow and using their magic to strengthen their arrows, and looked upon those who did not. It was a decision that was likely made to keep her from bearing any backlash for the slightest of reasons even with the respect he held as an arcane warrior.

These two however, had the respect of nearly every single slave she had seen them interact with. Athlyn was apparently quite the chef and made it a point to help others as discreetly as possible, similarly to how Briala would lend a hand to the elven servants before in Orlais whereas her partner would willing throw himself in front of another to shield them from their master’s lash. His magic was strong and his power and focus came from the desire to protect someone. His vhenan. He would not allow himself to remain silent in order to not shame her.

What had Gatt said? Something about how the Qun rescued him from slavery then… “ _And put you into something worse. A slave may always struggle for freedom, but you among the Qun have been taught not to think.”_ Solas’s words echoed in her ears as she thought of her two new friends. She could trust them. They knew who to lean on to get things moving and did their best to fight in ways they could. In their hearts they yearned for freedom. Andruil’s slaves were like water behind a dam. Only the supposed god couldn’t see that there was enough pressure to make it burst soon.

“Ow!” Her blade shattered as her arm flew back causing her to fall onto the ground.

”Revas… you’re not paying attention again.” Regardless of whether or not he knew that was true, whenever her blade went up against his, it had gotten pulverized every single time, though the time period between that repeating had been extended a fair bit under his guidance. Training for hours still took its toll.

“Sorry, Arvis.” Eria had a self-depreciating smile on her face as he helped her up. He was teaching her _Dirth'ena Enasalin._ Knowledge that led to victory. She needed to be the willing embodiment of will made manifest - mind shaping her body into the perfect weapon… if she was going to escape one of the Evanuris. His lessons were something she really should be paying attention to, but her diligence had been waning as time went by. Instinct and not paranoia was telling her that something was wrong. “I don’t think I’ll be learning anything else tonight. It’s a bit late and I’m a bit… tired. Could you possibly… help me to my quarters?”

His gaze sharpened, but only for a moment. He knew that she didn’t mean anything by her choice of words, but meant that they needed to talk. Given the majority of the People’s illiteracy she couldn’t exactly write down what she wanted to say, and even though he taught her of there being a secret tongue of slaves of sorts, she hadn’t yet committed it to memory. “Of course Revas.”

They walk in silence as eyes follow their exit from the courtyard to the labyrinth of hallways and stairwells. Eria’s room was very close to Andriul’s inner sanctuary and by one of the only eluvians that led to Elvhenan… well, the land below the clouds. It was of course well-guarded at times as were the other eluvians, but the Vir’abelasan had chosen that one in particular to escape. While she was normally fine with asking for its knowledge, she had made it a point to not. Not here anyway and certainly not with one of the Evanuris around. Eria didn’t know if accessing it could alert spirits of her plotting. The Augur could hear the Well so there was no telling what a significantly powerful mage could determine if she did anything.

Arvis opens up the door for her when they reach her room. It was fairly luxurious prison that the false god had set aside for her. She had access to a few books, a desk, a great view and a warm bed, which was more than most could say. None of the texts or journals she had read here or in the library had anything regarding time magic, which she unfortunately expected…. But there were was a wealth of notes on the eluvians and where some of them led. Apparently Andruil was obsessed with trying to access the Void and the deeper parts of the Fade…

Eria lets out a sigh as she shuts the door behind them and begins casting a wards around the room as a precaution. “Apparently the god of sacrifice has a meeting with a meeting with one of the other Evanuris soon. I’ve located the eluvian and the passcode for it that we can use but we still haven’t figured out the timing or logistics of everything for this plan….”

“It would be opportune to escape from the master when she is not around. Her power is unmatched, even by her followers… and your unique abilities. You could easily reach your mistress however, but it is doubtful that we will easily escape from the master…” There’s a familiar regret in his eyes that she knows all too well. He regretted the _need_ that they had to depend on her, even though she was no longer a stranger and had insisted in involving herself. It would have been a hundred times easier to flee, but she had chosen not to do so for their sakes. “It would be best for you to leave us to our fate. You are not trapped by the same fealty.”

“I’ve already said that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to do that.” She had entertained the idea though upon her immediate arrival though. It would be smarter to seek refuge with her…. _master,_ but she quickly refuted the idea since it would not be right to abandon the others in a situation she abhorred, which was even before meeting Athlyn and Arvis. Eria had admittedly been okay with the notion of being bound to Mythal back in her temple. Being Mythal’s... Serving justice… well, the god of justice and vengeance didn’t seem a terrible prospect to dedicate one’s life to. Not that she really had one that belonged to her anymore. The chains of duty on her had weighed heavier in the past few years she was left broken to distract her from her loss.

Now though… she had no orders to _not_ try and seek refuge with the goddess. Everyone here revered her for her place in the Pantheon, but Eria was really not sure what to make of knowing that Mythal was _alive._ Alive and somewhere in this time… Abelas was the first to tell her of her murder and Solas explained that it was her own who turned on her in their lust for power… Eria truly believed that she had nothing to offer in regards to that… yet anyway.

“Anyway, I back to the main point, I never think it’ll be easy…. And as it is, the way our plan is going, it feels too easy. I mean I know which eluvian we need, the passcode to use it, a good window of opportunity…” She pursed her lips for a moment and frowned. “Everything feels wrong.”

“You believe that some of the master’s worshippers are still planning something against you.” He knew of the Anchor and its capabilities but nothing about its origin. Eria had been extremely tight lipped about that.

“The more I can’t see signs of them not doing anything, the more convinced I am that they are.”

“I have heard nothing for days about their plans for you, but I know of some slaves who I can ask. I mean… some people I can ask.” She smiles for a second as Arvis corrects himself. He was making an effort to see everyone and treat them as equals. Progress was made in small steps.

“I would appreciate it. A lot.”

“I will do my best to obtain the information you seek.” He bowed silently and quickly left after that.

Eria sighed in her prison, now alone and looked to the stars above. Far below she could imagine trees, clouds, the odd shadow of a dragon in flight…. Freedom. _Solas…_ He had been right. Dammit. Damn him for always being right. Why did Solas always have to be right? Or why did it always seem that way?

She wondered if Solas could see the stars from wherever he was. A slight pang hit her heart as she thought of him. Given the time she had spent in Andruil’s palace, she almost understood what he meant. The Fade… she was consciously aware of it at all times now and it was nothing like the future that she and Dorian had seen at Redcliffe. While she had never told anyone about that future, she knew it was horrible to the utmost sense and that was when the Veil had been torn asunder. Spirits and demons were free… but that future involved a Nightmare controlling everything for Corypheus.

Here… _Now._ The Fade was like a warm blanket enveloping her soul that she could feel all the time, comforting wherever she went. The connection even let her feel the presence of another mages… bright and burning, yet as gentle as the stars. She could feel spirits nearby like a gentle breeze against her skin. She could breathe in magic and felt stronger when she inhaled air. She could feel life so easily, and how everything interacted and depended on another in a giant tree of life… and to have something like this lost forever… She didn’t know what to think.

Stop. _Don't think about it._ Solas wasn't here now. She didn't want to contemplate his justifications. He was responsible for the deaths of so many, including Aesri's. She couldn't... She didn't want to think about him now. She had other things to focus on... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm probably going to post eria's other story eventually when I think of a name. haven't updated it in a bit.


	9. Detachment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bloop. I really want to work in the other Evanuris but I can't really think of how for some of them yet... oh and I forgot to add a few lines to the last chapter when I posted it, so I updated it accordingly. theyre not that long and at the very end.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, if you're Canadian, get out and vote!

He sighs. He had spent the better part of dreams in the past week trying to find her. Investigating the various areas of the Fade that were governed by the Evanuris was extremely challenging. They knew him as a rebel and a troublemaker, and while that was admittedly true, he had no desire to draw their attention and ire… yet. Out of all the Evanuris, Falon’Din and Dirthamen were the ones he had to take extra caution around since they on occasion did actively explore the Fade when investigating, but the only two false gods he was able to identify that were actually doing something in their respective portions of the realm was the keeper of secrets and the supposed god of sacrifice.

It was unfortunate that the huntress’s name had come up. He simply despised Andruil, and she was still spiteful of him – which he was slightly thankful for since it meant she would not go out of her way to bother him. She would however make his life miserable in any way she could, but it was easier to deal with that then the actual person herself. Between Dirthamen and Andruil however, Andruil would be his more likely choice in deducing who would have a greater interest in his vhenan. Dirthamen at least kept to himself most of the time, and it was usually more obvious when he was conspiring since most times the keeper of secrets would reportedly seek out Falon’Din.

His spies had reported nothing on a change in Dirthamen’s movements which unfortunately only left Andruil as his person of interest. She was apparently heading into Arlathan to seek council from Elgar’nan before paying a visit to June and Sylaise soon, and given that the areas of the Fade she had control over felt became more fortified in the last week… she was likely the one holding Eria captive.

He could trust for her to be at least suspicious of the god of sacrifice given that she gained more insight at the Temple of Mythal and had apparently asked Briala for elvhen stories she knew, which were from Felassan. His _Slow Arrow_ was still alive in this time though he had yet to see his old friend. Something about knowing he had chosen to kill him... _Murdered_. “ _They were murdered, not killed,”_ as Eria would say as she spoke of the incident which fostered her distrust for humans. Their actions were unwarranted and her parents had done nothing to earn their ire… The same was true with Felassan in some ways and knowing that he murdered him before, made him feel… unworthy. While he currently did not bear the scar from the encounter, Solas knew had willingly chosen to murder a trusted friend and confidant because he did not believe that the elves there were People. Or maybe… could not see that they were People. She had changed that for him…

Out of all the Evanuris, Andruil would also have the strongest desire to obtain the Anchor given her inadequacies. She was like a petulant child when it came to things she could not have and would do everything she could to rectify that. She was unfortunately competent when it came to plotting if she managed to put her mind to it despite her madness, though that motivation was largely owed to her hatred of the Dread Wolf, and her rage was an excellent motivator. Her dreamers however were capable and he could speculate their next course of action.

Eria had once told him that she knew of a Dalish ritual that could send others into someone’s dreams. While her knowledge was crude, and she knew how to use it, she had never attempted it given her lack of resources and need. It surprised him to learn that she knew of it at the time, but he doubted she considered that it could be used against her, and now without the same constraints she had. Although the dreamer influenced their own dreams, if someone with more power and will broke in and manipulated them… that was the likely device intended to be used against her. It wouldn’t matter though if she was kept a prisoner in her own dream. Andruil would never be able to recreate his Anchor, or at least not within a millennia given her lack of power and pathetic expertise.

He knew that the best that they would be able to do is remove Eria’s piece from the game board she saw herself master of. He didn’t doubt that the huntress would do anything to see his beloved’s spirit scarred, scared, and easier to mold to another’s will… Perhaps she sought to learn of how to create the Anchor in hopes of recreating it, or learn more about the woman in question. He didn’t doubt that she would resort to the usage of blood magic and bargaining with demons, rather it would be more appropriate to say have her slaves using such a tool to try.

The idea that Andruil already planned to move against Eria however was not completely unwelcome though. She wouldn’t kill her until she literally had an Anchor to call her own. The huntress aside, he knew of Eria’s opinions and beliefs well enough, and she would never truly have wanted him to destroy her world despite offering….No, that was incorrect. She had asked to join him and he refused her, as he had done before as he thought of what was best for her. He could not bear the thought of knowing that she would no longer see him as he once was, and she believed in him to the point of naivety with her love which remained so pure. If it came down to it though, he would never be able to make such a move against her that would remove her presence from this game entirely. He loved her too much to do such a thing, even if it would be easier and far more merciful. It would be an act of kindness to let her sleep through the inevitable war that was brewing.

<”Fen’Harel…. Are you perhaps busy right now?”> Lan’iah holds a report in her hand, likely for the information that he had requested only a day ago. His agents moved quite efficiently despite him never demanding anything and only asking for caution in their actions. They always they believed in him though and never let him down.

<”What is it?”> Turning his attention away from the countless other reports he was currently reading through to prepare for later, Solas turns his attention to the only other elf in the library once again. Her supposed job right now was technically Felassan’s but his former right hand was currently at one of his other sanctuaries that did not exist in the normal world like the one he was in now. There were still a number of agents out that he needed to remobilize and reposition...

<“Both Etoile and Hydd report that the huntress will be moving soon. How do you wish for them to proceed?>” The names flash in his mind for a moment as he considers it. Both of these spies were once he trusted, and they would be able to move about Andruil’s realm without rousing suspicion. The team also had a firm knowledge of the languages spoken unlike most elvhen which was almost unique given that most only knew one. Their knowledge was a result of the duties they had carried when in Elgar’nan’s service. The All-Father’s followers tended to know more in terms of literacy if they had fought against the Titans and dwarves that appeared in Elvhenan. It had been necessary to both prepare and arm the People more effectively. <”There has been no word of anyone being marked by your magic in Lady Andruil’s realm however, and do inform me that it would be a simple matter to obtain that information.”>

He knows that the agents named will be able to accomplish nearly anything he would ask of them given their capabilities. They were powerful, smart and creative… _Partners and lovers._ They trusted one another completely and were always there for the other.... and were a reminder of a bond he destroyed with his own two hands.

Solas, however, shakes his head when he sees the expectant look on his agent’s face.

<“Tell them to do _nothing_.” >

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well I finally got to posting Eria's other story. that one will definitely update on an irregular basis... I like this one more despite starting this one after it. I put them into a series (yay first series! officially anyway) though it's not really necessary to read the other one given how I stick little things in the note sections about references.


	10. Walking Softly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* I know I said id try to update weekly but a hit a bit of a block on this chapter and the next one. its still there... trying to work around it... Sorry! Also I got really busy with stuff and my comp crashed... and I lost my glasses and one of my tshirts somehow and omg I hate group projects where theres this one guy who doesn’t even bother to write the first damn sentence of his section in proper English! And I got distracted myself by writing saren/femshep smut cuz it’s a damn rare pairing…but on the plus side I started writing the outlines of like three chapters after the next one which Im still trying to write somehow and balance homework…
> 
>  
> 
> sorry this chapter probably isn't up to standard... couldn't figure out how to write this to connect to the parts I have planned out. and I also kept on getting distracted by another idea for this modern au story. probably going to get about to writing it one of these days...

For the first time in two years, Eria was actually feeling optimistic. Hopeful even. She was actually in the position to help other people without having people always waiting to see if she was falling and failing. It was even better now that the huntress had left for some business to attend to in Arlathan so they didn’t need to worry about someone constantly watching their every move… and she could be herself.

No one really knew who she was, and she wasn’t being shown respect from others because of the Anchor. It was an… elating feeling. Andruil couldn’t exactly touch her given her interest in the Anchor, and she was sure that the huntress had no means to recreate it. She could read frustration from her whenever the false god showered her with false praise behind even more fabricated smiles “Anything new Athlyn?”

“Nothing really aside feom how wee’ve organized a lot more thanks to your help, Revas.” She nods quietly at that as they talk under the cover of darkness. Eria had always been good at finding out people’s motivations, but that didn’t mean she was the greatest at inspiring others, especially since she infinitely preferred doing that from the background. Under the excuse of assisting her friend with her duties, she had managed to spy on pretty much everyone at least once.

She had also been able to identify other slaves that were marked from Falon’Din, Dirthamen, and Ghilan'nain, in addition to the huntress’s own. According to Athlyn, those false gods kept together and were almost their own sort of faction within the Evanuris, and had advised any of those elves to be kept at arm’s length, and be excluded. The idea of wilfully turning away however didn’t really sit well with Eria since they were technically in the same position as everyone else, regardless of which ‘god’ they had been tied to. It had become one of the three issues that she tried to divide her concentration between when organizing her thoughts on how to arrange her own escape.

While she was doing that, she also kept on thinking about how to effectively mobilize the at least the hundreds of elves around to break their chains in a relatively organized manner when they made their move. Athlyn and Arvis’s influence was considerable, but there were still others that were reluctant…. Her two friends would thankfully be the heroes in this story for most when they finally worked out the _how_ problem. She had some experience in planning out troop movements thanks to Cullen and Lelliana thankfully, and that experience was helping her significantly now. Eria’s biggest problem was however something no one could really help her with… though it was more of a revelation that she was still having difficulty coming to grips with. Mythal was _alive_ … Her goddess. Alive.

Eria would have wanted nothing more than to help Mythal, in any way she could, or at least meet her as she pledged herself to the woman’s service. She had always aspired to justice and strove to represent and respect it any way she could, but it knowing that her goddess would suffer a great injustice as she was murdered by her own kind. It was… appalling to think that the Evanuris would do such a thing in the pursuit of power… according to Solas anyway. She was at least very realistic in acknowledging how there was no way she could ever stand up to one of them really, and the idea of using blood magic to increase her power was an idea she would never begin to consider.

The notion of trying to stop the murder from occurring though… she had her doubts. It would change… history, she supposed, and while she was okay if that perhaps meant that she would never come to be since she had no idea how, and Eria was uncertain if she could inflict such a fate upon her friends, those she grew up with who were lost, and basically everyone in Thedas. It perhaps would mean that elven power would be restored, but she had no desire to play jury and executioner to every living soul in the present. She had no right to. Eria wasn’t a god and she wasn’t sure if justice would be served if she felt that it would be a crime to remain silent given her knowledge, but at the same time it would be wrong to condemn the futures of so many… despite how confessing what she knew would be the morally correct course of action.

It was sort of pointless thinking about it since she had no idea where Mythal would actually be. She probably had her own realm of sorts like Andruil did, in addition to the temple though Eria had no idea where in her name she was in respect to the distance from where that temple was. There was also the chance that she wasn’t any _when_ near the time the events that would play out that altered the history of her People forever wasn’t when she was too...

It was dilemma she shouldn’t be focusing on however as they walk back to her given quarters. They had spent most of the day working on concoctions to use to spike any and every consumable liquid they could find when they left before Athlyn had gone off to resolve some dispute. It was funny - playing with poison. As one of the mages who made an effort to study healing in her clan, she had done many things that bloodied her hands in the effort to save lives, but this was a bit different. Eria had always been committed to the prospect of benefiting her People’s lives in any way she could, though that method had changed significantly.

In order to minimalize their pursuers, they had created stockpiles of various mixtures of poison. Athlyn was wizard at hiding the taste of some of the most-foul compounds by blending it with herbs and sugars, so their machinations would go unnoticed until it was too late. It would decimate Andruil’s forces when the time came. The woman had the conviction to do whatever it took to ensure that the life she would lead would be one of happiness for her and her partner, and the one who would come to rely on her, and Eria could do no less.

It was a silent promise she made to herself in the face of overwhelming odds.

“Worried?”

“Always.” Eria lets out a sigh as they stop by her door. As it was, nothing actually surprised her anymore given the things she had seen, and regardless of the experiences she had, she usually expected the worst.

The elder woman pulls her into a tight hug and shakes her head with a gentle smile on her face. “You’ve given us hope that we will accomplish your namesake.”

The comment makes her blush a bit when she lets go. Her name was a lie again like before. “We still need to work out a proper distribution of sort. It will be vital in the future if we want to succeed.”

There’s a look on her friend’s face that tells her that she really should try to relax, but she doesn’t say anything. “We’ll work something out tomorrow. We have a few days before Andruil returns.”

“…You’re right. Thanks.” There’s a small fleeting smile on her face as Eria enters her room and quietly shuts the door after wishing her friend good night. They did have some time, and she would only be a burden if she did not rest herself sufficiently… The thought is a small comfort when she finally falls asleep.

* * *

“….Wake up, Eria.”

“Nnh… five more minutes…” Her tone is dismissive and sleepy when she feels the hand shaking her shoulder. The touch is gentle, but she still does her best to swat the hand away. Fingers linger on her skin for a moment. Warm hands. She still had time. “Wanna sleep.”

“I’m sorry, but you _might_ want to heed that request, Revas, er… Eria.” That’s… Athlyn’s voice? Who was she talking about? She hadn’t given her friend her name.

“We need to go now.” There’s a short sigh as her brow furrows. She knows the other voice and Eria can vaguely hear the sound of someone swallowing as if readying oneself to a change in tactics in speaking. “Are you planning on sleeping all day? Not that I find the idea unappealing. The Fade holds countless wonders…” Regardless of her fatigue, her body jolts up at the mentioning of the Fade. No one called the Beyond the _Fade_ here in this time.

“Solas….?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would have posted yesterday but it was n7 day lol... sorry! I got distracted on multiplayer.... haven't played in a while...shooting Cerberus on silver is very time-consuming! ahahaha.... *sigh* I love mass effect... did you see the n7 day video?! It made my inner fangirl go squeeeeeee lol!
> 
> And then today I blew up stress on warframe and getting more stressed over the three tests I have this week... I hate multiple choice tests..... also I recently decided to start transposing a certain soundtrack but its freakin ridiculously hard and i stopped piano after grade 8, and it's very time consuming though ive somehow figured out the chords....
> 
> and oops I forgot to think of a title. will do that later.


	11. Lapses in Judgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well I finally gave chapter 10 a name....

Coming to Arlathan was a mistake – even if it was at Sylaise’s summoning, rather request. It was likely that she had asked for Fen’Harel at the behest of Andruil for reasons he did not care to know though it was a small mercy to know that Syalise wasn’t particularly fond of Andruil either, but as the false god had promised a favour to him, he had grudgingly accepted it. It did however make him wonder what she would have been promised by the huntress and if the meeting between meant that he wouldn’t have to have anyone watch the woman for a significantly shorter amount of time.

Aside from Mythal and Elgarn’nan, Sylaise had the most influence amongst the Evanuris so it hadn’t been a terribly bad idea, but he immediately regretted it once he caught the glimpse of Andruil waiting for him after his very brief interaction with the hearth-keeper in one of the countless crystalline palaces of Arlathan. She had asked him about channeling the raw essence of the Fade – rather the Beyond, in a more practical manner as opposed to how the same magic was used for her Sonallium. The answer he had given her a bit vague since he wasn’t sure if she was asking because of Andruil had piqued the woman’s interest in the Beyond, or it was because of the huntress’s likely interest in Eria, but he was true with his words in saying that it was unlikely to have magic in channeling the Fade in an efficient or practical manner without a ridiculous amount of ritual. He didn’t care if that was what she wanted to hear, but his answer to Syalise appeared to satisfy her enough since she acknowledged that it was near impossible for any supposed god or _slave_ to duplicate the mastery that he had.

“Fen’Harel.” His given title rolls of her tongue in a provocative manner, though it does not hide her venom. He was hoping to avoid seeing her completely since Andruil usually conducted whatever business usually in the late hours of the day, but fate was never kind.

<“Huntress.”> Her eyes gaze upon him like one gazing upon a desired trophy. She always wanted what she could not have. It takes an effort on his part to maintain a curt and distant tone as opposed to raising his voice. He knows that she was meeting with Elgar’nan, and he wasn’t interested in bringing down the wrath of vengeance upon himself, not _yet_ anyway.

<“Leaving so soon?”> Her tone is daring and provoking as she positions herself in front of one of his private eluvians. She didn’t know how to access it, but unfortunately knew where it was, in addition to a number of others. Her relationship with Ghilan’nain had given her information that she normally would never had obtained given her methods.

<“Yes. My business here is concluded, as such, please remove yourself from my path. My attention is required elsewhere.”> Arlathan was just as beautiful as he remembered it despite his bitter memories of the heart of the elvhen kingdom. He had wanted to get out of this wretched illusion of beauty as quickly as possible since he had spent most of his time today making fruitless attempts to seek out and contact Mythal, who unfortunately wasn’t here.

Even though he was able to walk amongst the People freely, many elves were jealous of his status and would go out of their way to hinder him, but he didn’t blame them for their actions. Not with the way power was consolidated here and now. They would rise up in time…

<“You should know Fen’Harel, that I will surpass you. One day, you will no longer be the only master of the Beyond.”>

<“Is that so?”> It’s all he manages to say. Andruil, above all else, desired power. It had been why she cemented her position among her… faction of sorts in the pantheon. Falon’Dn, Dirthamen, Ghilan’nain… out of all them, she craved to be above all others more than her. Falon’Din would come close given his insatiable appetite to have more submit to his rule, but she wanted more in other ways. Ever since Mythal had bested her in her dragonic form and stolen the knowledge of how to reach the Void, the huntress wanted to do everything in her power to erase the part of her that knew that she had been bested and defeated, and that she had a better.

It was almost a confession from her to say that Eria was in her hands given her confidence… She wouldn’t do anything that would outright kill her, but if Andruil found out what Eria meant to him… that she was his heart, and the woman he cherished the most, it would mean the promise of unspeakable horrors to her because of it. It would yet another curse he would wrought upon the one who he had once cared for the most… and still cared for.

Despite everything he told himself for the past two years ever since he abandoned her when she needed him the most, Solas consciously knew that he became more irrational in his decisions regardless of his best efforts. It was easy enough to get one of his agents to keep him updated with her status….but not he had no such luxury. Right now however, his expression somehow manages to not betray his concern for Eria, as his gaze meets Andruil’s almost coldly.

They stare at each other for what feels like an endless amount of time in a contest of wills as there is no possibility of him entertaining the idea of leaving Arlathan with the huntress watching. If she gained access to any one of his eluvians, it would be disastrous…. Thankfully however, it looks as if she’s had enough of antagonizing him as she laughs softly as her gaze turns away.

There’s a sly smile on his face that he’s seen countless times from those who believed themselves hunters and toyed with their prey. <“…Indeed, Dread Wolf. I do so look forward to that day.”> With that, she leaves, and Solas wastes no time in leaving Arlathan.

* * *

There’s not a lot of activity in his domain as usual in the crossroads when he emerges from his eluvian. Some of his People bow in his presence, but most try and focus on their tasks at hand. Those that do are the ones who know how he always disliked being treated differently in a reverential manner since he was no god… A few of them do however hand him a few reports to let him know that the immediate requests he’s made to their plans that would help reduce casualties in the long run had been attended to ever since arriving back in this time period.

The progress is good news since half of him wants to see what immediate actions could immediately be taken against the huntress though he is well aware that he’s not ready yet to wage his war. Still, it couldn’t shake the feeling in his stomach that something was terribly wrong…

Perhaps he’d take a detour before returning to see if he could do anything to address his growing worry…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also got to figuring out how I plan on implementing in Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen into the story... not sure bout Falon'Din but I really want to write him in.. and Elgar'nan. 
> 
> Mind's been on the fritz about given recent news. truly grateful for that facebook check-in feature.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... late update. technically made my weekly update lol. really busy right now with a ton of projects and presentations and test this week... *sighhh* kinda sucks since ive been recognized in my classes as one of better presentation creators... chapter is a tiny bit shorter than usual sorry! still working on projects... next week and then itll be over... on the homework side anyway.

“Athlyn… could you please give us a moment alone?” Her friend doesn’t say anything, but quickly leaves with a silent nod. Eria is quiet for a moment as she looks at Solas. He looks just how she remembers him… as well as the emotions she still felt... and those that she now had. Rage courses through her as her hand flies out across his face to slap him. “You…you killed my best friend… How…how could you do that and not tell me?”

She already knew why and didn’t need to hear the answer. Still he had the… _nerve_ to be the one who had comforted her and help her move past her best friend’s death and accept it, but that was before she knew more about the accursed foci… and who was truly behind the events at the Conclave which made her… rather, _forced_ her to cast away parts of herself. Eria lets out a sigh as her gaze drops for a moment, seeing how it doesn’t look like she’ll be getting an answer anyway.

“Do you have anything to say?” The name… rather title he was given by the Evanuris is on the tip of her tongue as she balls her fist at him. She can hear him swallow for a moment in hesitation. She wouldn’t call him something like that. It would be demeaning of her because of the Evanuris… even with what little she knew of them.

“Nothing that would suffice that could alleviate your anger.” Hearing that from him here… wherever they were exactly makes Eria think that her heart’s going to break again.

She wants to hit him. To let her emotions run freely and for once let them dictate the actions she wants to take… but… she can’t. She remembers what Cole said. _“Your friend wanted you to be happy, even though she knew you wouldn't be.”_ She did make him happy for a time… just as he did for her. She wouldn’t be able to hate him though… she loved him too much for that. “I should….I should kill you for what you’ve done.”

Her hand drops as her will evaporates. She doesn’t have the strength to do something like that… Damnable emotions. He’s quiet as he pulls her into an embrace that doesn’t feel quite real. “…For what it’s worth, I apologize.”

Eria lets out another sigh as she just shakes her head. “I thought…when and how in Mythal’s name did you get here?”

“With the eluvians… of course.” His tone is gentle as he lets her go. “I heard you ended up in Andruil’s hands and… I can still access them. You have not forgotten about them I hope?” She nods at that. She remembers the simple saying that she’s known all her life. _The ancient elves left no roads, but they traversed the empire through the eluvians…_ and she had seen a number of them. “Is it so hard to believe that I am here with you?

“I… _No!_ Of course not! I could never forget something you said…” She frowns from a moment. Her memory felt fuzzier than usual, and she wasn’t entirely sure what had happened the last time she had seen him. “How are you…? I mean... You don’t look any different from when I… last saw you. And I though... I mean, I thought I…” Eria purses her lip as she considers her next comment. “Did I…. Did I die?” The idea that he had intervened somehow to save her still had its own complications given when she was. “What did you do? Did you send me here… or us here to… _save_ me somehow?” It’s the first time that she entertains the idea that like her, Solas had travelled through time, but while he looked the same, his expression seemed softer.

“Vhenan.” There’s a familiar smile on his face as he gets her to stop. It was one that she knew from whenever he recognized when she was going to start rambling… though admittedly that habit had been curtailed for the most part over the time she had been drafted into the Inquisition. "I will tell you what you what you want to hear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yay! I hit +1000 views with this! first DA story for me to do so... so thanks!
> 
>  
> 
> ...I can't think of a chapter title for now. will probably do that later... x] or with next update. will still release one for next week.


	13. Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this is nearly late again. had a rough week. lots of projects and presentations... a family member is in the hospital... and had to jump through some hoops to drop someone from a group assignment... and exams start next week for me... *sigh* should still be able to update though it'll be later on in the week again. 
> 
> will edit later. no time right now. still haven't thought of a chapter name for the last update...

“And there he is, the Dread Wolf himself! Took you long enough!”

“…Felassan.” It takes a conscious effort on his part to not allow his expression to betray his emotions as he see his friend. Alive.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, old friend. It’s been a while.” Felassan flashes him a quick grin as he just shakes his head. If only he knew. “Etoile and Hydd weren’t too happy with your orders you know, and I have to say, I have to agree with them.”

“They mentioned the details to you?” Almost out of reflex, Solas wants to show his displeasure, but somehow manages to refrain from doing so. They were all equals and entitled to their own opinions. He had no control over their actions, nor did he desire such a thing, preferring his advisory role despite so many being under his unofficial banner.

“Well, one of us has to be approachable… and I have to admit, I agree with them. I investigated the area myself in the Beyond following a hunch and Andruil’s latest acquisition… is… unusual to say in the least.”

“Unusual how?” He almost says catches himself asking about any _one_.

“Were you aware that it’s a person?” Felassan’s eyes narrow for a moment as he watches for his response. “A person with magic that feels disturbingly like yours.”

“…I had my suspicions… though I have not thought of a course of action yet.”

“Then you’re aware Andruil fortified her presence in the Beyond? She has some horrible machination planned out in store for either you or the person in question… or both given that this is Andruil, but even I had a hard time investigating.”

“She’s employing her dreamers…” Countless mages would be put to work for the single task of ensuring that whatever scheme involving his vhenan would remained undisturbed and hidden, but in the Fade… but there were always cracks between dreams and nightmares. “What an exorbitant waste of resources.”

“I take it you’ll go check it out? I can’t say for sure that doing nothing and leaving whomever it is alone is a good idea… but there’s no one amongst us with the same mastery of the Beyond or rapport with spirits that you have. Given how you also seem to have some connection to this person, it’s best if it is you, Solas.”

“I… understand your concerns.” Making any attempt to find or reach Eria wasn’t something he was prepared to do. If she stayed with him, she would be dragged into a war that she had no say in, and her sense of honour and duty would make her follow through with him since she could never leave anyone who needed help alone, even if she could do nothing. Still, he couldn’t outright tell Felassan _no,_ not after he had killed him with his own two hands. He still carried the guilt from the atrocity and betrayal…. “Are you suggesting that I go find her now?”

“….So you do know.”

“…” Mentally cursing himself for the slip of tongue, Solas unfortunately knows how despite his rationality, he was irrational when it came to Eria… “I believe it is the person who I have dreamed about recently… Call it a very strong gut feeling.” It’s a believable lie that he hopes will save himself from further questioning about what he knew.

“You’re dreaming about someone instead of dreaming about spirits, learning or exploring? I should mark this day on the calendar! I never thought I’d live to see the day to hear such a thing from you!” Felassan laughs, prompting Solas to roll his eyes. Thankfully, he doesn’t ask for any more details and quickly directs him to one of the quietest and more isolated rooms in the sanctuary they were in.

It’s a small room with a large elvhen centrepiece structures in the middle of it that radiated light like the ones Eria had seen when she had followed the hints he had left behind to the Qunari…

The thought of her makes it all the more easier for him to slip into a dream once he forces himself to relax and close his eyes.

* * *

Solas lets out a small sigh before he concentrates on his Anchor. _You mean every spirit in the Fade knows where I am?_ The notion of being constantly watched in any way greatly bothered her…

It doesn’t take him long to find his way to Andruil’s realm in the Fade. It was a forest that had been devoid of most life given her thirst, guarded by golden gates so that none may escape its walls… or break in.

Still, it was a relatively simple matter to find a way through though he makes sure that he remains hidden and out of sight, cloaking himself with the Fade itself. It was unlikely that anyone would be able to detect his intrusion, though he still took extra precautions when he went about.

He could feel her spirit nearby and while it felt… undamaged, there was no telling what could have happened to her physical body…

He freezes when an almost alien sound echoes in his ears, and to his surprise, it doesn’t sound pained in any way.

Eria… was laughing.

It was the free and unrestrained laughter that he hadn’t heard in years. She didn’t even laugh anymore after Corypheus’ defeat either – his spies had reported how she had become distant, quiet and more reserved… almost the opposite of she had been when he was by her side.

Now however… Eria was with… a phantom who resembled him, though he could immediately tell that it was one not brought forth by her consciousness.

_A phantom._

Part of him is angry that she fails to see what is real and what is not… but he was far more angrier with himself. In times of weakness it was easier for one to do what they were told, or see what they wanted…

He knew that he was partly responsible for her lack of confidence now as well. The same doubt she occasionally faced when making decisions…it had grown because of him. _“She is bare-faced, embarrassed, and she doesn't know. She thinks it's because of her."_ He can still remember Cole reaching out in compassion. _Because of her._

Her self-confidence was admittedly… unstable at times, and it did not help that he had left the hole in her heart… which had caused the seed of doubt to grow. She had been uncomfortable with even _being_ herself and had opted to live under another name for a fairly long time during his time with the Inquisition. It wasn’t until after the Winter Palace and Adamant when she finally admitted that she was Eria Lavellan, and not her best friend, Aesri, whose death he was also responsible for….

It wouldn’t be wrong to leave her where she was. She would be free… happy… Andruil wouldn’t be able to do anything about the Anchor…. But she could recreate it if she revealed enough information. No matter what happened, Eria didn’t want to be used as a weapon or tool… or be viewed as one. It was why she went through great pains to hide her magic when they first met. She was afraid of people’s reactions, especially since she knew people didn’t even see mages as people but as weapons of destruction who only seemed to be capable of blood magic and therefore needed to be killed in the eyes of society.

It probably didn’t help either that she knew that the Anchor was the main reason why she _had_ to be kept around since she was the means to the end of sealing the Breach. Admittedly, the Anchor had been his reason for why he stayed in the first place as well since it would have put him into position to manipulate both her and the Inquisition in his initially advisory role… It almost sickens him to know he had willingly chose to use her like the countless others he had in war. She was so much more than what his magic did to her.

She had been…

She was his vhenan, and still meant the world to him.

Part of him wonders though if she knew she was in the Fade, or even dreaming. He could tell that magic was being used to ensure that she remained asleep. Time in the Fade moved differently so she wouldn’t know how long she would have been unconscious for until she woke up….

It would be kinder in the long run to leave here where she was…

It’s against his better judgement when he fires off a spell.


	14. Author's Note

no chapter again though exams are done. that family member who was in the hospital is now on palliative care, and just past the day the doctors gave her for expected time...and I just can't write right now or focus. Sorry.

Happy holidays and wishing you and everyone all the best if I still don't update next week.


	15. Chapter 15

“Ma vhenan…?” Eria stops for a second as she blinks. She felt magic being nearby. Out of reflex she frowns. No one had attacked her in a while. No one would dare. Not here…. but there wasn’t any malicious intent behind the spell. It was familiar, but she couldn’t place why….. Why couldn’t she remember?

“Is there something wrong, vhenan?” The magic she felt now felt…familiar? As the Inquisitor she had experienced a wide array of magic, and even had the opportunity to study a multitude of them, but she particularly remembered the ones that she had felt used to protect her…

Something in it also felt like a warning of sorts. She was no longer _Inquisitor Lavellan,_ she no longer wanted to be her, she remembered, but why had she been Inquisitor again? What had captured her attention to the point that she wanted nothing to do with running an… Inquisition? Something had made it so that she was no longer with her clan. Made it so it was so she was no longer alongside Aesri…

“I… _yes_.” Eria blinks as she tries to focus on forming thoughts but it felt like her mind was mired in a deep fog. “Something is wrong.” She was feeling happy… she was supposed to be happy…. _Should_ be feeling happy…? She shakes her head as if to deny it. She didn’t get to be happy. _Not after what he…_ “This isn’t real.” Her words are like a cutting edge into herself since knows that she’d probably never attain happiness. Not when she had pledged herself to love someone who always ran away and had taken her closest friend away. Not when she knew her heart belonged to…

 _“That is subjective.”_ An old memory echoes in her head as she tries to think. This can’t be real. “This isn’t real.”

“What are you talking about Eria?” The hand on her shoulder feels warm, comforting. It offered everything she wanted and more…. “You should not trouble yourself with problems now that I’m here with you. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“No. You’re not my vhenan,” She says as she manages to concentrate to form a spell. Anger burns in her mind as she lets her magic loose. Happiness was a far more effective than torture if used correctly. She wouldn’t fall into a dream like this to turn away from reality. Not when people depended on her, and certainly not when she still had a home to get back to…. And not when she knew that the future she dreamed of was one that she could never believe in having despite everything.

 _“Foolish little girl. You could have been happy.”_ A demon of Pride growls as she breaks the illusion breaks around her, revealing similar scenery as she had seen in Andruil’s inner sanctuary. The only difference now was that she could see how….warped the environment was. Like everything around her from the crystal to the trees had all life and warmth sucked out of them, leaving everything surrounding by the darkness of the Void.

She couldn’t feel anything natural around her either, almost as if the Fade had been tainted by something unnatural…. Thankfully, it hardly takes her a second to feel out the presence of other mages in the area as she feels the jolt of electricity cackling in the air. There were likely Dreamers amongst them, but there was no way anything would stand against her enraged heart.

“Tempting, but unwanted. Andruil can shove it.” All she concentrates on is her rage and magic as she manipulates the Fade. It gives her something _real_ to focus on, and it is something she can trust although Eria knows that she’s trusted her emotions before and that had caused her to fall. She pushes the thought away as she strikes out.

The fury she lashes out with now is as controlled as she can be as she focuses on her targets in her mind as she moves, firing off ice and lightning while taking care to protect herself. It's nice knowing that her training has paid off as she shrugs off the demon’s electricity with little effort before sinking the blade forged from her will into the pride demon’s chest. Effectively killing her chances of happiness, no matter how desirable that was. Happiness would always be unobtainable for her anyway...

Eria's gaze sharpens as she turns to hunting down the remaining mages nearby. If she got rid of enough of them, it’d be the easiest way to wake up…

“No one plays with my heart!”


End file.
